Swim Until You Can't See Land

Up to my knees now, do I wait? Do I dive?
The sea has seen my like before though it’s my first
and perhaps last time.
Let’s call me a baptist, call this the drowning of the past
She’s there on the shoreline
Throwing stones at my back

Was there a signpost?

Should I have been more observant

Of the rules and regulations?

“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.” - Chuck Palahniuk

Hard Rain

The words came like a hard rain. And your smile changed like a hurricane. And your breath smells like cardamom. And the words came just like a hard rain.

I recall you said you missed me. I was afraid I acted desperately. I recall you said it for hours. Then again it doesn't matter.

I never tried, I never dared, I wish I'd said something. But I've been standing outside your door, at least that's something.

And your breath smells like cardamom. And the words came just like a hard rain.

I try to tell myself at night when the dusty old pictures are all out of sight that I think I will be alright. Just don't come closer morning light

When there's something that you want

But you have no inkling in the world

That will lead you to find it

The natural instinct is to be selfish

And think that your pain in lack of direction

Is singularly yours.

But thinking you are not the only one

Is also a form of tonic -

That too holds a barb

For those that cannot be seen

But that you know are there

Splash

You know it comes from the middle of nowhere and hammers you right through the heart.

Because there's something you can't quite get over, and it drowns you
As effectively as a leaden weight.

And you realise, hook, line and sinker, that you're caught
And that there's a grim demise for you at the end.

Folly In The Foliage

I had to beat through this:

To get to this!

Concrete Jungle

Just a few visitors hanging around.

I'd ask the question "Where were you?"
If only it wasn't so apt as instead
"Who are you?"
So, who are you?
I'll probably never know.

Wait and See

So, it's a new decade;

and I'm not completely enthused.

I guess I'm a little worried by the impending and inescapable

Seriousness

of this new decade.

When it's over, I'll be 29.

As a further exploration of this theme -

At Christmas I was down in Melbourne, visiting my parents

(I now live alone)

And went to see my 18 month old niece.

She's now walking and talking a little bit,
And as I sat in the backyard as you do,

And Christmas 2009 slowly fading into a cool sunset,

I reasoned that by the time little Angelica is my current age, I'll be 36.

My thoughts and ponderances now about her future, and who she'll grow up to be,

Will be completely altered and probably irrelevant by that time.

Time will change everything, and leave nothing constant.

It's all a big void from here on in, I guess it's up to me to fill in the blanks.